Much too young to feel this damn old

Thanks, Last.fm, for the inspiration for a post title and a point from which to begin my tirade.

My family's kidded me for a while now about being a 40-something at heart. It started with innocuous things at first--my tendency to drink hot tea in the evening, a love of crocheting. When I started tutoring writing, they ramped up the harassment. You see, I had been complaining about the things the "kids" I tutored did. The "kids," I note, were not much younger than me, chronologically speaking.

And if I started feeling alienated from my fellow youth by virtue of tutoring, teaching completed the process. The constant phrase on my lips these days is something along the lines of "I never would have done that as a student." I never would write phrases involving the word "booty" in a proper academic paper, and wouldn't have dreamed of using the word "asshole." For that matter, I wouldn't have missed class two weeks in a row and wondered why my quiz grade was pulling down my overall average so much. I wouldn't have sent e-mails with a complete lack of punctuation and capitalization (and yes, we did have computers when I was a wee undergrad).

I wouldn't have surfed the Internet and played online games while my teacher was talking. And if I had, I wouldn't have done it again, much less in the same class period. And if I were to do it, I wouldn't have harbored the delusion that my slowly tilting the monitor away from the center of the room would go unnoticed. And if my teacher were to have called me out on my antics, I would've scrambled to close the game window. Stat.

And, and, and... I tell you, the kids these days... They have no respect for time, their own or others'. And by "others'," I here mean their instructor's. If I had an appointment with one of mine, I'd make darn sure I made it on time--early if possible, on time at least, and if I were late, I'd be genuinely repentant. I'd be especially cordial if I knew I was one of 42 such conferences to take place over the span of three academic days, outside of the allotted time--

Is a little courtesy and consideration so much to ask for? I swear, those "millennial kids," they'll herald the end of civilization as we know it, what with their slackerdom and misplaced priorities and overall slovenly ways. They're nothing more than fondling fops and scurvy sneaksbies.

If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go get a cup of tea to ease the tension of the day. This stress isn't good for my blood pressure.

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Now playing: Me First and the Gimme Gimmes - Much Too Young (To Feel This Damn Old)
via FoxyTunes